I had the pleasure of speaking to Elroy's dad on the phone before actually meeting him (which will occur this Friday at 8:30pm).  Let me share with you the transcript, a la The Underwear Drawer:

ELROY
[talking to his dad on his cell phone this weekend in my room]
Blah blah blah, I have a British accent, blah blah.

ELROY'S DAD, GEORGE (obvi.)
[deeper and even more hardcore British accent, if that's even possible]
I need your email address because I don't have it.

ELROY
[in that, annoyed-at-your-parents-for-being-stupid kind of voice]
Yes, I think you do…okay, okay, let me give it to you again.

GEORGE
Go on then.

ELROY
I have a new work email at [insert snotty Ivy League school here].  It's Elroy underscore…

GEORGE
Underscore?

ELROY
[in a typical stutter-y, typical British self-interrupting fashion]
Yes, underscore.  It's a dash, but under the letters.  An
underline.  It's an underline.

GEORGE
Underline?

ELROY
Yes, it's the button next to the equal sign.

GEROGE
[totally deadpan]
I've never used an underscore in my life.

[Elroy and I bust out laughing]

[Elroy and George commence with some garbled talking ending with:]

ELROY
blah blah full email address blah blah……but behave.  Be nice.

[Suddenly the phone is thrust in my direction.  Suddenly I am talking
to ELROY'S FATHER. On the PHONE.]

ME
[panicked with heart rate escalating]
Uh, hello?…..Hello?

GEORGE
Young lady, I don't think I deserve to be laughed at because you
see I've never before heard of an underscore.

ME
[nervous laughter]
Oh, I wasn't laughing AT you I was laughing WITH you in a
completely sympathetic way because I understand how you feel.

[am totally crapping myself]

GEORGE
You see, I am very old, from a different time.  You can't expect me
to know all these new things.  I think underscore is an American thing

ME
[more nervous laughter]
I don't think it's American, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out.

GEORGE
Yes, yes.  Will you be joining us for supper on Friday?

ME
Yes, I hope so, I'm looking forward to meeting you.

GEORGE
Has Elroy told you?

ME
Told me?  [glancing at Elroy, making a face] Told me what?

GEORGE
Well, about me.  I'm a very difficult person, you know.

ME
No, he hasn't told me but I'll ask him about it.

GEORGE
Yes, you should ask him about it.  All right.  Pass me back to Elroy.

ELROY
You said you would behave!

ME
[crying and whimpering in the corner]

So the age-old ritual of "meeting the parents" (or in this case, one parents plus long-time girlfriend) commences this Friday.  I changed my template for good luck.

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