I dislike that Valentine's Day gets a bad rap. I mean, it's such a well intentioned holiday. Celebrating one of the things that brings all of man kind together. The thing that has spawned more psychotic actions, paintings and music than say organized religion. And even organized religion is based on "love" (fear?) of God/Jesus/Xenu, galactic overlord. I realize that historically it is the holiday of oppression and torment for single people but WHY?? Why let
yourself get down about something you have NO CONTROL over? I mean, you can't make someone fall in love with you. Unless you're a Fable or the maker of Love Potion Number 9. Anyway, making Valentine's day be all about romantic love is silly. I mean, it only means that if you LET it mean that. I see Valentine's Day as a celebration of people you appreciate and people you love–such as your friends and family. I just don't see why it HAS to be romantic love, that's all. I also don't see why it has to involve $300 bottles of champagne and this crazy elaborate night of sexy time. Truth be told, as many Valentine's Day Scrooges will declare, love should be shown all the time, you don't need a special day. But isn't it nice that we DO have a special day to show it? And should be appreciate Mom, Dad, and trees every day? But then we still have Mother's Day, Father's Day and Arbor Day to officially recognize these important people/plants in our lives. Why not the same for friends and lovers? Exactly.
I also despise all commercials for jewelry aka: she won't love you if you don't buy her useless ugly shit that costs over $10000 and showcases diamonds mined
by starving children! She won't love you if you don't get into outrageous debt! I hope the people who make them will find themselves covered with festering boils. Generally, I have a very low tolerance for insanely ridiculous/phenomenally stupid commercials that only serve to bolster age-old stereotypes that society would be better off without. For example, why are all the men fat and hairy but all the "wives" have to be skinny and anorexic? Or let's not even go into the "she won't love you if you don't have hair" hair loss product commercials. Or the ads that show people struggling to do normal everyday things but they can't because they don't have the advertised brand new money burning invention. Listen, if you don't know how to strain spaghetti normally through a friggin' colander then you should be shot. Whatever happened to clever commercials? I don't want to turn this into a huge rant about commercials because I could go on and on, so I will just tell you about the rather cute and thoughtful (low-key yet meaningful, mind you) thing that Elroy did. Because you DO NOT need thousand dollar necklaces to PROVE or SHOW your love.
Of course Elroy not-so-subtly asked me my thoughts on Valentine's Day
last week (even though I asked him the same thing a couple of months ago for shits and giggles). I told him what I outlined above and we agreed that this is how normal, sane, rational people should go about regarding Valentine's Day: recognized it, but don't go overboard and buy into the commercialization and brainwashing. Last night, over the phone, I was told to look for my December issue of the Economist titled: Happiness (haha, the cuteness begins!) and "flick through it" this fine morning of Valentine's Day. Lo and behold, what did I find in the middle? An extremely red envelope containing a very nice shiny Valentine's Day card! (You can see the
shine in the picture. Oooooo.) It was exciting. He must have hidden it there this weekend when he came to visit. The planning! The cuteness! It overwhelms. Mostly because my first initial had hearts drawn all over it. Totally made my day. Elroy's exterior is just a ruse for the 10 year old girl that lives within. Luckily he didn't dot all the "i's" in the card with hearts. If he had, I would have to worry. A lot.
So Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! Don't spend any money in any jewelry stores unless the store can prove their diamonds didn't come from the bloody hands of rebel gangs in Africa, it's okay if you're balding someone will always love you (unless you're a flaming asshole in which case probably your mom wouldn't even love you) and enjoy the best love song ever (shared with me by Miss Cool herself).