Okay. So last night I tried to make a tart. My very first tart, actually. Only I completely botched the entire thing. First, I went to Williams Sonoma to get a tart tin. (Williams Sonoma is possibly my most favoritest store EVER other than Whole Foods and Trader Joes. J.Crew comes in a close third.) Sounds good, right? WRONG.
Mistake number 1: I didn't buy baking beads.
Which usually would be fine because when I need to blind bake something I just place a glass pie dish on top of it. It usually works pretty well whenever I need to blind bake (which is not that often). I made the crust sans Kitchen Aid (so proud) and patted it into the tin. But last night my brain left the building (again) and I just forgot to put a glass dish on top of the tart crust. Not only that, but then I reached problem number 2.
Mistake number 2: I didn't do a good job of putting the crust into the pan.
I made the crust not nearly thin enough in the middle and too shallow. And I KNEW IT! But I didn't fix it. Because I am dumb. After baking, this crust problem was compounded by the lack of baking beads and lack of a glass dish. Curses!
I definitely over baked the crust too, Mistake number 3. I was
distracted by phone conversations with friends who are leaving the country for two months, and friends who have exciting job prospects. Of course after over baking the crust, I screwed up the filling too by making waaaay too much, seeing as the crust was so shallow.
Mistake number 4 (caused by mistakes 1, 2, & 3): Too much filling.
Obviously I tried to fill the tart as much as I could. Of course I followed up with another careless (aka lazy) mistake.
Mistake number 5: Not baking the tart in a bain marie.
So I definitely got the burnt skin kind of thing that happens when you don't bake a cheese cake-like filling in a bain maire. Luckily, it didn't crack so that was one plus. (I think it was too shallow to crack.) I was just to LAZY to make one. See? See where laziness gets you? It gets you on the path of a terrible tart.
BUT, I have remedies! Because I am learned in ways of sprucing up mediocrity. Behold:
1. Cover up everything with pretty pretty strawberries! I trimed off the really ugly burned layer of the filling, which was pretty easy with a thin, sharp knife. Then I loaded on the strawberries (which I was going to do anyway, but with the ugliness of the tart I had to make sure I covered everything REALLY well. Have I mentioned that I'm a psychotic perfectionist?
2. Use the left-over filling to make weird raspberry tart things! And then make them look even weirder by "artistically" covering them with chocolate. It looks like a chocolate spewing spider attacked the raspberries. Oops.
Well, live and learn, my friends. I know what to do for next time–don't be lazy and stupid.
(But it's difficult to deny the two pillars of my personality.)