I like to share stuff with my friends on Google Reader (which weirdly comes up in other friend's inboxes as a "buzz" feed) and the other day, I noticed on the BBC feed that there was an article about a bear who broke into a person's car because it smelled a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Now, we all know that sometimes the real news reads like an Onion article, but the thought of that poor bear being trapped in a tiny Toyota Corolla all for a PB&J was just too much for me. So, I shared it. Little did I know that I would be introduced into the dark and distressing world of animal smuggling.

A friend of mine saw my "buzz" about the bear and then she sent me this little tidbit about a man who flew from PERU to MEXICO smuggling 18 monkeys under his clothes.18!!!!!! MONKEYS!!!!  I mean, yes, they are Titi Monkeys, which are known for their small size (6-9 inches long, not including their tail). They were shoved into little pouches and taped to his body. TWO DIED ALONG THE WAY. WTF??????

That's not all. Oh, no. That article also mentions a man who tried to smuggle 14 baby snakes (Royal python) and 10 lizards (albino gecko) under his clothes. Airport security was alerted when they noticed that there was a tarantula in his baggage. Seriously, what the hell, people.

The article finishes with a man who had 13 song birds strapped to his calves. He was caught because security saw feathers and bird poop coming out of his pants. FEATHERS AND BIRD CRAP ON HIS SHOES.

The main question I have (I HAVE MANY, MIND YOU) is why so many? Why 18 monkeys? Why not, oh, I don't know, just 4? OR EVEN ONE. Why not just 2 birds? Or 5 snakes? WHY SO MANY.

Right. That is all. Just wanted to share this horrible realization about mankind. Poor dead monkeys. And all other animals who have died being strapped to someone crotch. Makes me glad I got my cats from a barn in upstate Connecticut. Shame on all those who desire to own exotic pets as animals. Leave them be!

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